The Corporate Couch - November/December 2009

Dear Dr. Mimi,
My boss doesn’t hide his contempt for me. He constantly criticizes me and he gives me the assignments that no one else will do. I don’t know what I did to deserve his rude behavior but I’m starting to lose my cool with him. Any advice?-
Scorned Staffer

Dear Scorned,
The term commonly used to describe your supervisor is “toxic.” Here are the four tips I commonly offer clients who work with a toxic boss:
1. Don’t take it personally. You’re a person first and an employee second. If your supervisor starts screaming at you or acts in some other way that is inappropriate be polite but make a choice not to buy into it.
2. Don’t compromise your ethics. If you are asked to do something you know is wrong, speak up, ask questions and politely decline.
3. Don’t seek revenge. Remember, success is the best revenge. Do not stoop to the level of your supervisor; it’s only likely to make the problem worse.
4. Don’t play the victim. Victims lose control and get dumped on more. Choose to have the personal power and toughness needed to succeed.

Are these things easier said than done? Oh course, but they sure beat crawling into a hole and sucking your thumb!
-Dr.Mimi

Brilliant Brainstorming

From years of facilitating, we know that Brainstorming requires skill and experience. Here are some tips.
• Don’t brainstorm if people live in fear. If people believe they will be teased, demoted, fired, or otherwise humiliated, brainstorming won’t work.
• Brainstorming instructions are essential for creative idea output. "Quantity breeds Quality” has proven correct and deferring evaluation of initial ideas, is the key to successful brainstorming.
• Set a specific, difficult target for the number of creative ideas per person. Difficult targets consistently produce more high-quality ideas than unmotivated brainstorming.
• Individuals, not groups, should generate initial ideas. Group interaction may cause people to forget some of their ideas and to rehearse only a few while waiting for others to express theirs.
• Use group interaction to amalgamate and refine the individuals’ initial ideas. Groups of five or seven work best. Going around the room focus on reasons pros and cons for each idea rather than a final evaluation.
• Individuals, voting privately, should make the final selection. Individual voting for final idea selection is better for predicting successful ideas, especially for increasing commitment to them.
• Time should be kept short: Try fifteen minutes for initial idea generation, and totaling two hours with refined idea production and selection. Incubation” over longer periods is not necessary.

Conflict – Symptoms, Causes and Resolution.

1. What are the symptoms of the conflict? Symptoms include:
• Not completing work on-time or to quality goals
• Not returning phone calls, e-mails or requests for information
• Gossip, complaining, hostility, finger pointing, verbal abuse
• Not attending meetings, absenteeism
2. What caused the team conflict? Causes include:
• Poor or no communication
• Lack of clarity in purpose, goals, objectives, team and individual roles, resources and support
• Poor time management
• Lack of leadership and management
• Team members bored, not challenged, not really interested
• Personality conflicts
• Personal problems
3. What are the steps to resolve the conflict?A. Define the problem - Don’t start solving the problem. Defining the problem often contains the solution.
B. Gather data - Collect facts, that are actual, observable, and measurable, not hearsay or opinions.
C. Analyze the data - Analyze dynamics. Instead of saying we have personality conflicts, ask: Are team members able to work with each other or not? Have they been trained on different personalities?
D. Choose the best solution - Consider your observations and make a decision. Realize that you can’t always be right. If it doesn’t work, evaluate it and retry.
E. Implement and refine - Construct a plan with actions, timing and measurements that address each problem. Don’t try to fix everything at once. Work on one or two areas Be sure to:
• Attack the problem, not the person
• Focus on what can be done, not on what can’t .
• Encourage different opinions and honest dialogue
• Express feelings in a way that does not blame
• Accept ownership for your part of the problem
• Listen to understand the other person’s perspective before giving your own.
(From Conflict Management Seminar – Dr. Mimi Hull)

Can you Explain?

Explanation is a key attribute of leadership. John Baldoni says, “Leaders know to inject their communications with enthusiasm as a means of persuasion, but they also need to include an explanation for the excitement. What does it mean and why are we doing it are critical questions that every leader must answer.”
Here are three ways to become an effective explainer.
Define what it is. The purpose of an explanation is to describe the issue. For example, if you are pushing for cost reductions, explain why they are necessary and what they will entail. Put the issue into the context of business operations. Be certain to give the benefits.
Define what it isn't. Move into the "never assume mode." Be clear to define the exclusions. For example, returning to our cost reduction issue, if you are asking for reductions in costs, not people, be explicit. Otherwise employees will assume they are being axed. This is not simply true for potential layoffs but for any business issue.
Say what you want done. Establish expectations and call for action. Cost reductions mean employees will have to do more with less. Be specific. Leaders can also use the expectations step as a challenge for people to think and do differently.
Remember: Too much detail can put an audience to sleep, but too few details won’t be convincing.

Working with Veterans and Boomers

Corporate culture and the ability to get along with your co-workers is vital. The workforce is getting older, the young professional must learn how to interact with older co-workers. The fact is most middle and upper managers are boomers and veterans, who aren't going anywhere anytime soon.

To get on the good side of Veterans (born before 1946) at work, be sure to compliment their work and ask questions about their experience. Veterans enjoy talking about the past and mentoring young co-workers with a good work ethic. You can impress veterans by working hard for the ‘greater good of the company.” If you have only been with the organization for 6 months to a year, a veteran is not who you want to ask for a raise!

To get on the good side of boomers, compliment them on the hair, clothing, or style in general. Boomers still think they are young; so, it is important that they feel a part of the group. Ask questions that will allow them to talk about themselves. If you need to request money from a boomer for a project expense, be sure to show the value added.

In both cases, it is important for the young professional to understand the need for older co-workers to see your talents, skills, and experience before they notice your age. Be assertive but not aggressive. Older people have a tendency to compare you to the young people in their lives or neighborhood. This can be a gift as well as a curse! The key is to find some common ground on which to build working relationships and keep the focus on getting the work done, not on judging or measuring each other.

(From Bridging the Generation Gap – Dr. Mimi Hull)

Seven Attributes of Successful Leaders

I have been studying leadership for many years and have been fortunate enough to meet and work with some very good leaders. There are some attributes that seem to be constant. They include:
1. Successful leaders are determined. They have big ideas and they work to make them happen.
2. Successful leaders are resilient. They see failure as an opportunity to learn and grow. They see every failure as a step closer to the realization of their dreams and become masters at overcoming obstacles and staying focused on the positive outcome.
3. Successful leaders know that they cannot always control how they feel, but they can control how they act. They keep their tempers in check.
4. Successful leaders constantly seek feedback. They recognize their personal strengths and weaknesses. They play to their strengths and get help to overcome their weaknesses.
5. Successful people surround themselves with good people. They share the recognition and rewards.
6. Successful leaders are constantly learning. They value training both for themselves and others.
7. Successful leaders have passion. They have a purpose and they pursue their dreams with fervor. They do not fear rejection as much as they fear living without a purpose.
I know that there is much more to being a leader, but I have found these 7 qualities to be constant in the successful people that I have met and studied. What do you think?