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The Corporate Couch - July / August 2010

Dear Dr. Mimi,
What are some things I can do to ensure a positive work environment for my employees?
– Concerned Manager

Dear Concerned,

Keep your employees informed. The more information your employees receive, the less they assume … and the less chance for miscommunication and useless rumors and gossip.
• Transparency: Don’t hide things. If the goal is to work as a team, access to information is essential to success.
• Honesty: Information that you pass on to your employees must be true 100% of the time!

Balance criticism with praise. Correcting an employee’s mistakes is necessary and deciding on disciplinary action is appropriate, but also understand that people need to hear the good things they have done as well. People are motivated when they hear at least two praises for every criticism. Public vs. private. Praise in public, and more importantly ... criticize in private. Don’t over-work. Emphasize the importance of getting work done on time, meeting deadlines and being productive. However, don’t forget the human factor. Unexpected circumstances occasionally arise and flexibility and caring build loyalty. Learn to laugh. Laughter is good for you. Smile. Tell an appropriate joke here and there. Remember that if you are poking fun at someone, it needs to be yourself. We spend way too much time at work to not enjoy the people we have around us.

How to Choose the Right Trainer or Speaker

There are so many trainers and speakers to choose from. How do you select the best one for your next event?
There are some basic questions you can ask yourself:
· Is the speaker credible and trustworthy? Does he or she have the credentials and experience to deliver a quality presentation? What is their education? Who else have they worked for? Can they do a variety of programs or are they a “one trick pony?”
· Does their message make sense for your audience? Does the trainer take time to learn about your organization? Is the program a customized one or simply the same program done over and over again?
· Do they motivate or better yet, educate your audience? Stories are great but stories without substance are simply entertainment.
We have all been to these events - the speakers are great; they pump us up; we go home and share our enthusiasm with our families; and by time Monday rolls around we have lost the energy and it is business as usual. The message simply wasn’t sustainable. We feel good but we have not added to our repetoire or have anything practical to put into practice.
When choosing a Trainer or Speaker, the real question comes down to... What are the results you desire? In other words, at the end of each engagement, what do you want them to know? How do you want them to feel? and what do you want them to do better or do differently?
Is it worth it to have professional speaker? If you choose them carefully, then absolutely. If you need an engaging speaker or trainer, call us at (407) 628-0669. At Hull & Associates, our programs are always upbeat, interactive and fun, as well as productive and inspiring. No two people or organizations are alike. Therefore, we customize our programs to meet your unique and specific needs.

Motivating Your People

When we think of motivation, we think of praise and awards, but there is a more to ensure that members of your team know their importance.
Recognition won’t work without respectful relationships. There’s no excuse not to know all your employees’ names, what they’re working on and what their aspirations are. Once you solidify a superior relationship with them, it can be as simple as verbally reinforcing positive behavior. With under performers, discover what they do well and recognize them for it and they are more likely to do more things well.
Research has found that the cornerstone of meaningful recognition was actually opportunity. “An award may be a tangible sign of recognition, but employees see an opportunity as a sign that their manager truly values them”
Opportunities don’t have to be expensive. It could be as simple as trusting employees with important customers and/or assignments, introducing them to an instrumental figure within the organization or having a training event.
If you can reaffirm your employees’ value while your organization is having difficulty, you will keep your best people. Some people believe if you praise someone, that person is naturally going to say, “If I’m that good then I should get a raise.” This simply is not the case. They do not go hand in hand because employees can see the economy around them. They know what things are like and they just want to feel valued.
Then again, if a company starts to bring in a ton of money and doesn’t distribute some of it, people will get conflicting messages and think they’re not actually appreciated. How do you know if your “motivation program” is working? Ask your people. If you have built the relationship first, they will let you know.

Difficult People-Your Best Friend

Objective language can be your best friend when communicating with difficult people, and it is often the only way to get the response you want. Trust me, it’s helpful outside of work also—with difficult neighbors, children, and even friends.
What is objective language? If you tell a coworker they are disruptive, that is your subjective opinion. But if you rely on what you saw and heard, then the true situation becomes clear.
Does your coworker talk too much at meetings? Stop in your office to chat ... on an hourly basis ... and break your work flow? With those facts at hand, now your coworker can identify the problem exactly.
Look at the difference between subjective and objective language here:
Subjective: You are irritating to other employees who want to get work done.
Objective: You interrupt people by dropping by their work space to chat.
Subjective: You’re really annoying in meetings.
Objective: You need to stay in the meetings and talk only when the facilitator calls on you.
Subjective: You don’t respect other people.
Objective: You call other people derogatory names. Once the person can understand the problem objectively, he or she can find the solution.
Call other people names? Well, stop doing it!

Faking it..Can people “outsmart” personality tests?

“Faking” is a big concern for employers using personality tests.
Steps for Employers
Cover the basics. Choose a test with proven reliability and validity like the DiSC®.
Become knowledgeable about the test through a certification program. If this is not possible, then use an outside consultant
Consider the personality requirements of the job and measure them using a tool like the Role Behavior Analysis. For instance, the ability to work long hours without social interaction is far more “natural” to some than others.
Monitor the process. If you are concerned about having someone else taking the test, have them take it at work. Tell participants they will be discussing their answers at a later date. This holds an applicant responsible for consistent answers.
Conduct interviews that are based on the test results. Some test publishers, like the DiSC® provide interview recommendations with the test reports, which can save time. If someone has intentionally provided false or inflated answers, you may spot discomfort or hesitation during the interview.
Do the profile “on the other person.” If you find that your perception and theirs is radically different, talk about the different perceptions.

Hard vs Soft Skills

Technical and job-related skills are a must, but they are NOT sufficient if you want your people to grow. To this, the answer is harsh but real -- a professional who wants to do well does not really have a choice. Soft skills are essential
Initially, technical abilities are important to get good assignments. However, when it comes to growing, it is your personality that matters, especially in large organizations where several people with similar technical expertise compete for a promotion.
The soft skills that are required include:
· Interpersonal skills
· Team spirit
· Business etiquette
· Negotiation skills
· Behavioral traits such as attitude, motivation and time management
“Soft skills training is essential because we do not have it in our academic curricula. Therefore, organizations have to take up the task of grooming employees who are the link between the company and the external world, so that they are able to present themselves better, “says Sumeet Mehta, an equity research analyst with Fortis Securities Ltd.
Do you and your people have great soft skills? If your answer is yes, good for you.
But if your answer is no, then you know it is time to approach either a training organization or a training consultant. Call us today...We can help!

The Corporate Couch - May / June 2010


Dear Dr. Mimi,
Recently, upper management enforced many new rules in the policies and procedures at my workplace. We have been doing things the same way for many years now with much success and my coworkers and I are getting frustrated with all of the changes. How can I learn to adapt when all I want to do is revolt?
- No Change


Dear No Change,

Change is inevitable and hard! So what can you do to make it more comfortable and successful?

1. Invest your energy in making quick adjustments to the changes. Don’t focus on what life was like before the new rules or find ways to rebel. Accept that change has occurred. It is better to be a change agent than a change blocker!

2. Determine how the game has changed. Reorder your priorities. Take a step back and learn why the new policies were necessary. This will help you figure our ways to work with the changes and have the changes work for you.

3. Don’t worry about the bad things. Focus on the bright side. Maintain a positive attitude to help you through tough times and long days.

4. Keep in step with the organization’s intended pace of change. Speed up. Don’t drag your feet in this process. Decide to adapt to changes and work with them to help avoid conflict later.

5. Keep a positive attitude and a sense of humor. Encourage others around you and focus on the positive. Be an advocate for the changes. Express the reason why you feel these changes will be positive for your organization.

Conflict Management Styles

Your conflict management style is determined by the repeated approach you take in a conflict. This is different from a tactic which is used one time in a certain situation.
When disagreeing with co-workers, it is important to understand what type of approach is needed. Here are some options:
Avoidance: represents low assertiveness and low cooperation. Avoiders would rather walk away from conflict than discuss it.
You can use this style if an issue is not worth arguing about, and/or you need time to think about it.
Competition: represents a high level of self concern and a low level of concern for others ideas or thoughts. People who are competitors may get what they want, but lose friendships along the way. Competition can elevate the quality of a product or service if used carefully.
Accommodation: the opposite of competition, represents a low level of concern for ones self but a high level of concern for others. Accommodators put their interests last to let others have it their way. Warning: if you expect to get your way the next time, let the other person know this, or else they will think you really wanted the solution and the other person owes you nothing.
Compromise: Compromisers don’t mind splitting the difference. “Something is better than nothing”. This method works if more than one person has a good idea, they can be combined and or if each side stands to gain something.
Collaboration: Labeled as the win – win situation. Collaborators work with others to ensure that every ones interests can be met, not just one over the other. Collaboration builds good relationships but takes the most time. A good time to use this style is in meetings and brainstorming sessions.

Eight Steps to Create Accountability

Leaders are always asking us how to increase accountability to get the results they need. Simply put, the leader’s job is to ensure every member of the team wins, and winning is defined as meeting the organization’s top objectives. Here is the seven-tip formula you can use to create accountability and achieve extraordinary results in any organization:
1. Establish the top three objectives. Once identified, objectives must be SMART, specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timed!
2. Assign each team member his or her respective objectives. Take the time to go over what they need to accomplish and what help and/or training they need.
3. Identify roadblocks. Have each team member identify in writing a maximum of three things they need to accomplish each objective. Agree on what the leader will do to help.
4. Clarify and remove roadblocks. Meet individually to agree on what’s needed to win and who will be responsible for it happening. Probably, as the leader, you will assume some responsibility to help them get what they need to win. Perhaps you will call in someone else to train or help.
5. Follow up. Schedule a 30-minute monthly update using a color coded results report. Accomplished results are in green and areas behind are in red. Focus the conversation on what was done to achieve and maintain the green. For red issues, focus on what will be done, when it will be achieved and what help is needed.
6. Share lessons learned. Hold bi-monthly meetings with all team members to discuss lessons learned, identify critical roadblocks and offer to help any team member behind plan. Remember, the leader wins when everyone on the team wins.
7. Reward results. When objectives are achieved, ensure that rewards are disproportionate and highly visible. Those who achieve the most get rewarded the most—and everyone should know that.
8. Cut your losses. Ensure that people at the bottom are either improving their performance or being moved out. No one with poor performance gets to remain on the bottom for more than a year without action being taken.
(From Supervisory/Leadership Training - Dr. Mimi Hull)

Five Strategies for Difficult Conversations

1. Discuss one item at a time. Too many issues at one time can be overpowering and people will feel dumped on! Prioritize what you have to say. Think of what will make the greatest positive difference and focus on that behavior.
2. Know what you want to say, do it soon and deal only with facts. Resentment sets in when there is a problem or a difficult situation and nothing is being done to solve it. If you use lots of words, the message can get lost in the verbiage. Share behaviors, not inferences. Say, “You leave 15 minutes early” rather than “You are lazy.”
3. Use a moderate tone of voice. A loud voice and an accusatory tone can be intimidating and may lead to a battle of words, or on the other hand, someone clams up or shuts down so no one listens and both parties lose.
4. Don’t interrupt. Let the other person finish before you start talking. Sometimes we assume we know the whole story and we only half listen. Listen attentively - to understand not to contradict.
5. Treat the person with respect and try to come to a win-win solution. Have the other person suggest solutions, before you give your ideas. If you were wrong, apologize. If you made your words sweet, it is a lot easier to eat them!

Control Freaks!

When you hear the term Control Freak, do you feel complimented or insulted? A lot depends on whether you think that a control freak is in control or simply controls others. I prefer to think of them as being in control! Here’s why:
Control freaks control their thoughts. They know what they want and can focus on their goals without distracting “what-ifs” and “how-abouts.”
Control freaks don’t rely on luck and/or happenstance. They take positive action to get the things they want.
Control freaks are focused. They provide stability during change and help reduce stress. You can be sure that control freaks have their eye on the ball (or all the balls in the air) and can make it easier for everyone to get through changes with a minimum of stress.
Control freaks get things done. They do not want pie in the sky. They want pie on their plates!
Control freaks are NOT bullies or micromanagers! All of the advantages mentioned above involve control freaks controlling either themselves or those who actually want to be controlled, like nervous employees in times of transition. Control freaks and team players are not mutually exclusive. In fact, there is an important place on the team for control freaks!
So... if someone calls you a control freak...just say. “Thanks!...and then ask them what they meant!”

It’s Hard to Really Listen!

A key to effective communication is to listen, really listen. Not only will you be able to comprehend better, you will be able to provide a better response as well.
Why is it hard to listen?
Physical distractions - Everything from the voices around us, the temperature of the room, scents, and inadequate lighting affect our ability to pay attention or listen. We have a choice...tune them out or find a better space!
Message Overload – We get too much, too fast. Listen and reflect back key points and ask if you are correct. Do not assume that effective communication is just the sender’s responsibility.
Not maintaining eye contact – Look at the speaker directly. Do not multi-task! You know how it bothers you when others do it...so don’t be guilty of it yourself.
Assuming you know what they are going to say – Let the speaker finish without interrupting. You may learn that what you thought was so is not!
Judging prematurely – You decide before all the facts are presented. Try waiting and listening before you make a decision. Look for main and supporting points in the speaker’s message.
Rehearsing your response - Before you respond, repeat what you have heard. The chances of a better response is greatly increased if you do!
(From Business Communications - Hull & Associates)

Go Ahead and Vent..but Find the right Listener
Here is the Goal: To be able to blow off steam without damaging your reputation.
Understanding how stress works will only get you so far. You need cathartic relief, right? Don’t hesitate to seek the empathetic ears of a colleague, but do choose your confidant wisely. The more you say to a person you work with, the more likely something will slip out at work.
You don’t want co-workers using your misery to their advantage, so find someone with a sterling reputation whom you know and trust.
As counterintuitive as it sounds, in some cases your boss may be your best confidant. Sure, you don’t want to make much ado about the minor daily stresses of your job, but if you’re struggling with something major that affects your performance, talk to your boss. After all, managers are invested in the success of their employees. A brief explanation (keep the hairy details to a minimum) is not only fair, it’s also a way to build trust.
If you’re going to go to your boss, schedule a time to talk instead of dropping by unexpectedly when they may be in the middle of grappling with the demands of their own job.
Prepare for your conversation. Bring in notes to help you stay on track.
Regardless of whom you talk to, vent once, then let the issue rest. Constantly rehashing the story will force you to relive your emotions and irritate the listener.
If you have to do a difficult task, the conversations didn’t make the task any easier, but they will help you cope with your own internal struggles.

Controlling your Stress
A certain amount of daily stress is normal. Stress is simply your reaction — either positive or negative — to change. When stress places prolonged pressure on your coping mechanisms, it can become a problem that requires professional help. Continued high stress can wreak havoc both physiologically and psychologically.
Internally, stress comes from your perception of a situation. For example, if your boss emerges from a long, meeting looking upset, and sends you an email requesting a meeting, do you immediately think the worst? If so, you have triggered your body to go into a stress reaction.
You can’t always eliminate the stress, but you can change your response and calm your mind.
Keep a list of everything in your day that causes you stress. Pinpoint how every item on the list makes you feel and then ask yourself, “Is my reaction appropriate or over the top?” This step is key, because once you understand where your emotions are coming from, you can find a healthier way to deal with them.
External factors, like toxic work environments, also drive workplace stress. Common characteristics of stress-inducing environments include authoritarian or noncommunicative supervisors, socially isolating work, and jobs that require a lot of effort but offer little reward.
Eliminating the source of the problem (i.e., finding another job) may be the most effective solution. But until the job market improves, find ways to regain a sense of control over your time and your surroundings.
For example, if you must endure stressful rush-hour traffic to arrive at the office by 8 a.m., start your workday earlier to avoid travelling at the worst time of day. If you work with difficult people, close your office door or take your work to a conference room so your exposure to them is reduced.
You may not be able to control the stimulus...but you can control the response...so relax and make it a less stressful one!
Taken from a Stress Management Seminar from Dr. Mimi Hull

5 Ways to Deal with Change
Change is inevitable and hard! So what can you do to make it more comfortable and successful?
1. Invest your energy in making quick adjustments to the change. – Don’t focus on what life was like before the change or find ways to rebel. Accept that change has occurred. It is better to be a change agent than a change blocker!
2. Determine how the game has changed. Reorder your priorities. – Take a step back and learn why the change occurred. This will help you figure out ways to work with the change and have the change work for you.
3. Don’t worry about the bad things. - Focus on the bright side. Maintain a positive attitude to help you through tough times and long days.
4. Keep in step with the organization’s intended pace of change. – Speed up. Don’t drag your feet in this process. Decide to adapt to change and work with it to help avoid conflict later on.
5. Keep a positive attitude and a sense of humor. - Encourage others around you and focus on the positive. Be an advocate for the change. Express the reason why you feel this change will be a positive one for your organization.
A thought: The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.
(From Change Workshop - Dr. Mimi Hull)

Becoming More Resilient
Are you being tyrannized by your emotions? If so here are three hints to help you escape the tyranny!
Rethink your standards: If your failure to achieve perfection causes continual guilt and frustration, redefine what success means. For example, if you always feel inundated with work, ask yourself if you’re spending more time on tasks than they really require. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by making a task harder than it needs to be.
Re-frame your situation: If weather delays your flight to an important business meeting, instead of stewing about the disruption, over which you have no control, take advantage of the extra time to prepare for your presentation, catch up on reading or even sleep.
Reassess the significance of the problem: Will it matter tomorrow? Next week? A year from now? Emotion magnifies the difficulty of a problem in the moment; perspective shrinks it. So make sure you give yourself a steady dose of the latter.
(From Building Resiliency Seminar - Dr. Mimi Hull)

Keys to a Positive Work Environment
Keep your employees informed – The more information your employees receive, the less they assume; and... the less chance for miscommunication and useless rumors and gossip.
- Transparency – Don’t hide things. If the goal is to work as a team, access to information is essential to success.
- Honesty – Information that you pass on to your employees must be true. 100% of the time!
Balance criticism with praise. – Correcting an employee’s mistakes is necessary and deciding on disciplinary action is appropriate, but also understand that people need to hear the good things they have done as well. People are motivated when they hear at least two praises for every criticism.
Public vs. Private - Praise in public, and more important...criticize in private.
Don’t over-work – Emphasize the importance of getting work done on time, meeting deadlines, and being productive. However, don’t forget the human factor. Unexpected circumstances occasionally arise and flexibility and caring build loyalty.
Learn to Laugh – Laughter is good for you. Remember to smile. Tell an appropriate funny joke here and there. Remember, that if you are poking fun at someone, it needs to be yourself. We spend way too much time at work to not enjoy the people we have around us.

Dear Dr. Mimi
I just took on a new position that is challenging my leadership ability. This position is forcing me to make many changes to the way I typically do things. Likewise, the organization is instituting more changes, and I can tell my employees are resisting these changes. What should I do?
Stuck

Dear Stuck:
In today’s business world, change is necessary and inevitable. People feel uncomfortable when you first execute change or ask them to do something they have never done before. That is normal!
Some people may believe the changes mean they have to give up the way they want to do things to satisfy you personally or that the old way was wrong. The old way may have been perfect before, but things change and so do ways of accomplishing goals. If the changes apply to everyone, let staffers know that you are the facilitator. Emphasize that you support the change and, in addition, they must support each other during the process.
Also, find out their needs. Do they want clarification of the expectations? Do they need training? Are they unsure of their ability to adjust? If you can, provide them with the necessary training, information or assistance.

If you aren’t sure what to do to implement the change, bring the group together to brainstorm ideas. Remember: People support what they help create! One word of caution: Change takes time and consistency. If you back down, staffers will naturally return to the way things “we’ve always done before.”

Dr. Mimi

8 Ways to Stay Positive at Work
1. Before you speak, ask yourself three things: Is it true? Is it harmful? Is it necessary? Choose your battles wisely!

2. Count to 1000. Yes, 1000. Control your anger before it controls you.

3. See criticism as an opportunity to improve. Don’t take it personally. Always remember that it doesn’t take away your value as a person. Take criticism as corrective information that will get you back on track on your journey to success. It’s all about perspective.

4. Cultivate a sense of humor. Humor makes difficult tasks easier, makes workdays go faster, creates closer relationships, and relieves stress. Remember to keep your humor appropriate and if in doubt, cut it out!

5. Focus on the good daily. The choice is ultimately yours to see the positive or the negative in each situation. Stop yourself when you start thinking negatively and choose to see the bright side of situations.

6. Practice empathy. Refining your listening skills is key to developing empathy. Practice by taking the time to sit down and really listen to someone who has come to you for guidance. Remember to see it through with the eyes of another, hear it with the ears of another, and feel it with the heart of another.

7. Open your mind to changes. Change is the only permanent thing in life, so just accept it. Let go of the need to control and learn to trust your organization.

8. Last, but certainly not least, spread a smile! Try it. Walk up to someone at work,give a big smile and see how they will smile back!

“Negativity Program” - Dr. Mimi Hull

Selecting Team Members-Questions to ask yourself

How carefully do you select your team members? Reading a resume tells you part of the story. It is an advertisement. It says what the person can do but not how they do it.

What you need to know is how do they work? Success is more than finding a person who can do the job. they need to fit. The DISC Role Behavior Profile can help. Here are some questions to ask before selecting a Team Member.

1. Are they both competent and smart? Can they not only do the job today but also learn new things tomorrow? What are they currently doing to improve themselves?
2. Will they fit in your culture? Every organization has a unique culture and having someone that fits makes a huge difference, not just in comfort but also in performance. Have you defined your culture? What are your values? How do you exhibit them? How do you enforce them?
3. Do they accept responsibility? When things go wrong, what do they do? Do they bury their mistakes? Do they blame others or look for solutions?
4. Do they have integrity? Do they do what they say they will do? Are they ethical?
5. Are they win-win oriented and not just results oriented? It is great to achieve results and it is important that the win is not at the expense of others.
6. Can they communicates with precision, ease and grace? Communication is the key to understanding. Understanding is the key to productivity!
7. Are they adaptable? Changes will occur and how will they respond?
8. Are they fun? Do you enjoy having them around?
Can you imagine building a team of people who meet these criteria? You can do it...We can help!

(From Team Building and Behavioral Interviewing - Dr. Mimi Hull)

What is Assertiveness?
Research has demonstrated that there are culturally specific differences in the perception of assertiveness. However, most definitions and training programs on assertive behavior fail to take culture into account. Simply telling a person that they need to be assertive is not effective. Here are some training tools that can help address these differences:
• Flipchart: Yes, a flipchart! We use this tool to write down words that describe what assertiveness means to each person. Visualizing the differences will help the audience understand that assertiveness does not mean the same to everyone.
• Behaviorally Based Training. Assertiveness is not simply an on/off switch! What do you want people to do? What are the behaviors that you expect? Be specific.
• Simulation-based Training: Simulations give the person an opportunity to practice their assertiveness skills with typical scenarios. We address issues on the spot and correct them before it happens in real-life.
(Assertiveness Training - Dr. Mimi Hull)

Are you generating incompetence?
We have found that sometimes “leaders” encourage incompetence! Avoid the following common management mistakes and see your zombie employees come alive!

Measuring performance solely on numbers: Numbers don’t always tell the whole truth. Consider creativity, adherence to policy, work quality, and positive interactions as additional performance measures.
Penny-pinching too far: Cost-cutting is important for organizations, especially in this economy, but it can wear out employees. Before cutting staff, consider if telecommuting, flextime, and outsourcing will help the budget. Have employees brainstorm cost-saving ideas.
Reinforcing employee burnout: Managers often become impatient with employees who do not know everything from the onset. Create a support group or coach for the employee and set small, realistic goals that will motivate them to continue learning.
Rewarding mediocrity: If an employee notices that slacking-off is the norm, their motivation to make an impact decreases. Create a sense of urgency and set consequences for those who do not adhere to the policies.

Get ready! Get set! Goal!

Setting goals allows you to envision and create your future. You can’t arrive at a destination, if you don’t know where you want to go. Goals are like a map: If you set goals, (have a map) your chances of achieving them are increased dramatically. To create your map to success, just follow these steps:
1. Determine specifically what you want to achieve and assess your ability to accomplish them. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses helps you set realistic goals.
2. Brainstorm the steps necessary to achieve your goal. There is more than one way accomplish it, so choose one that best suits your needs and strengths. (i.e. time frame and/or budget).
3. Break down your goals into mini steps to keep yourself motivated.
4. Don’t just think about goals, write them down. Share them with others. Declaring the goal to yourself and others adds accountability and exponentially increases your chances of accomplishing your goal.
5. Take action! Take the first step! Then...Just do it!

The Corporate Couch - November/December 2009

Dear Dr. Mimi,
My boss doesn’t hide his contempt for me. He constantly criticizes me and he gives me the assignments that no one else will do. I don’t know what I did to deserve his rude behavior but I’m starting to lose my cool with him. Any advice?-
Scorned Staffer

Dear Scorned,
The term commonly used to describe your supervisor is “toxic.” Here are the four tips I commonly offer clients who work with a toxic boss:
1. Don’t take it personally. You’re a person first and an employee second. If your supervisor starts screaming at you or acts in some other way that is inappropriate be polite but make a choice not to buy into it.
2. Don’t compromise your ethics. If you are asked to do something you know is wrong, speak up, ask questions and politely decline.
3. Don’t seek revenge. Remember, success is the best revenge. Do not stoop to the level of your supervisor; it’s only likely to make the problem worse.
4. Don’t play the victim. Victims lose control and get dumped on more. Choose to have the personal power and toughness needed to succeed.

Are these things easier said than done? Oh course, but they sure beat crawling into a hole and sucking your thumb!
-Dr.Mimi

Brilliant Brainstorming

From years of facilitating, we know that Brainstorming requires skill and experience. Here are some tips.
• Don’t brainstorm if people live in fear. If people believe they will be teased, demoted, fired, or otherwise humiliated, brainstorming won’t work.
• Brainstorming instructions are essential for creative idea output. "Quantity breeds Quality” has proven correct and deferring evaluation of initial ideas, is the key to successful brainstorming.
• Set a specific, difficult target for the number of creative ideas per person. Difficult targets consistently produce more high-quality ideas than unmotivated brainstorming.
• Individuals, not groups, should generate initial ideas. Group interaction may cause people to forget some of their ideas and to rehearse only a few while waiting for others to express theirs.
• Use group interaction to amalgamate and refine the individuals’ initial ideas. Groups of five or seven work best. Going around the room focus on reasons pros and cons for each idea rather than a final evaluation.
• Individuals, voting privately, should make the final selection. Individual voting for final idea selection is better for predicting successful ideas, especially for increasing commitment to them.
• Time should be kept short: Try fifteen minutes for initial idea generation, and totaling two hours with refined idea production and selection. Incubation” over longer periods is not necessary.

Conflict – Symptoms, Causes and Resolution.

1. What are the symptoms of the conflict? Symptoms include:
• Not completing work on-time or to quality goals
• Not returning phone calls, e-mails or requests for information
• Gossip, complaining, hostility, finger pointing, verbal abuse
• Not attending meetings, absenteeism
2. What caused the team conflict? Causes include:
• Poor or no communication
• Lack of clarity in purpose, goals, objectives, team and individual roles, resources and support
• Poor time management
• Lack of leadership and management
• Team members bored, not challenged, not really interested
• Personality conflicts
• Personal problems
3. What are the steps to resolve the conflict?A. Define the problem - Don’t start solving the problem. Defining the problem often contains the solution.
B. Gather data - Collect facts, that are actual, observable, and measurable, not hearsay or opinions.
C. Analyze the data - Analyze dynamics. Instead of saying we have personality conflicts, ask: Are team members able to work with each other or not? Have they been trained on different personalities?
D. Choose the best solution - Consider your observations and make a decision. Realize that you can’t always be right. If it doesn’t work, evaluate it and retry.
E. Implement and refine - Construct a plan with actions, timing and measurements that address each problem. Don’t try to fix everything at once. Work on one or two areas Be sure to:
• Attack the problem, not the person
• Focus on what can be done, not on what can’t .
• Encourage different opinions and honest dialogue
• Express feelings in a way that does not blame
• Accept ownership for your part of the problem
• Listen to understand the other person’s perspective before giving your own.
(From Conflict Management Seminar – Dr. Mimi Hull)

Can you Explain?

Explanation is a key attribute of leadership. John Baldoni says, “Leaders know to inject their communications with enthusiasm as a means of persuasion, but they also need to include an explanation for the excitement. What does it mean and why are we doing it are critical questions that every leader must answer.”
Here are three ways to become an effective explainer.
Define what it is. The purpose of an explanation is to describe the issue. For example, if you are pushing for cost reductions, explain why they are necessary and what they will entail. Put the issue into the context of business operations. Be certain to give the benefits.
Define what it isn't. Move into the "never assume mode." Be clear to define the exclusions. For example, returning to our cost reduction issue, if you are asking for reductions in costs, not people, be explicit. Otherwise employees will assume they are being axed. This is not simply true for potential layoffs but for any business issue.
Say what you want done. Establish expectations and call for action. Cost reductions mean employees will have to do more with less. Be specific. Leaders can also use the expectations step as a challenge for people to think and do differently.
Remember: Too much detail can put an audience to sleep, but too few details won’t be convincing.

Working with Veterans and Boomers

Corporate culture and the ability to get along with your co-workers is vital. The workforce is getting older, the young professional must learn how to interact with older co-workers. The fact is most middle and upper managers are boomers and veterans, who aren't going anywhere anytime soon.

To get on the good side of Veterans (born before 1946) at work, be sure to compliment their work and ask questions about their experience. Veterans enjoy talking about the past and mentoring young co-workers with a good work ethic. You can impress veterans by working hard for the ‘greater good of the company.” If you have only been with the organization for 6 months to a year, a veteran is not who you want to ask for a raise!

To get on the good side of boomers, compliment them on the hair, clothing, or style in general. Boomers still think they are young; so, it is important that they feel a part of the group. Ask questions that will allow them to talk about themselves. If you need to request money from a boomer for a project expense, be sure to show the value added.

In both cases, it is important for the young professional to understand the need for older co-workers to see your talents, skills, and experience before they notice your age. Be assertive but not aggressive. Older people have a tendency to compare you to the young people in their lives or neighborhood. This can be a gift as well as a curse! The key is to find some common ground on which to build working relationships and keep the focus on getting the work done, not on judging or measuring each other.

(From Bridging the Generation Gap – Dr. Mimi Hull)